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I Don’t Wanna

I Don’t Wanna


I admit it. I learn a lot about me through my granddaughters, Noah who is five and Mathai who just turned four. I realize I should be teaching them how to maneuver through life’s challenges by giving good instructions. Yet, I discover that they teach me more about myself.

I remember them going through the “no” stage. They responded no even when they really meant yes. As they grew older, they extended their vocabulary. They adopted a new phrase called “I don’t wanna.”

Let’s go to the potty, Noah.

I don’t wanna.

Come eat your dinner, Mathai.

I don’t wanna.

They understand what they are saying, but for whatever reason, they choose not to wanna do it. My usual response? “What do you mean you don’t wanna? Who are you to tell me what you want to do or don’t want to do?”  They forget I’m NanaCUTE… older and wiser.

But am I? Older… yes… but wiser… hmmmm. I contemplated how many times I say to the Lord, “I don’t wanna.” I mean, I understand what He asks me to do. I can operate without physical or mental opposition preventing me from accomplishing what He asks me to do. Honestly, sometimes I act just like Noah and Mathai… “I don’t wanna” do it. I forget He is GOD…eternal and omniscient.

Yes, my confession hurts, but frankly, we quite often just don’t want to do what the Lord tells us to do. Sometimes what He asks us to do doesn’t feel good. It requires walking away from something or performing a new and different task. Sometimes it means stepping out of our comfort zone and taking a leap of faith. Sometimes it appears too hard. Sometimes it means doing things that don’t make any sense.

But God never asks us to do things bad or harmful. He never asks us to do anything He doesn’t give us the power and strength to achieve. Remember, “It’s not the size of the mountain, but the strength of the Mountain Mover.” He always keeps our good in mind.

I wonder how many blessings I missed because I said, “I don’t wanna.” I cringe at the number of times I broke His heart expressing those words. Jesus didn’t wanna go to the cross for our sins. He prayed for the cup to pass, but He ended the prayer saying, “Yet, not my will, but Thy will be done.” I rejoice that He chose us over His feelings. He died for us out of love, obedience, and the joy of pleasing His Father.

Following the Lord requires making decisions contrary to your wants and desires. But even if you “don’t wanna,” I hope your prayers and decisions reflect that profound phrase—“Yet, not my will, but Thy will be done.” Choose His way over your way. Obey out of love, obedience and the joy of pleasing the Father.

All I can say now is “I don’t wanna” miss anymore blessings. “I don’t wanna” hurt His heart. So instead, with His help, I will say, “Yes, Lord, to your will and your way. I want to.” Why? Simply…


 Because I Am CUTE



  1. Loretta says:

    Whoa! It’s like you were in my head and heart as I sat in church just an hour ago struggling with this same topic. Thank you Pat -again! for saying Yes Lord! to sharing yourself, His Truth and your faith so openly. Love you girl!

  2. Carolyn says:

    OUCH!!! OUCH!!! AND OUCH!!! Thanks for reminding us who is in control of our lives. Praise Him that we remain the “apple of His eye” even when we fall short.

  3. Shelia says:

    Amen! The Lord and I had that whining conversation when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and He continue to say “Thy will be done” until I was convicted. The grace that He has given me since then continues to overwhelm me. Praise the Lord!

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