His Death…Our Gain
I fell on my last round of jogging the day before Thanksgiving of last year. I got up, looked to see if anyone saw the fall, brushed off the blood on my right knee, and ran on home. Another fall…the third one that year…no big deal…so I thought. The pain started in my left shoulder Thanksgiving Day while preparing dinner. I tried to self-heal for a month, but it got worse. Finally, after the pain grew unbearable, I sought medical help. X-rays and an MRI revealed the dreaded diagnoses.
Monday, February 17th, after hearing I tore a tendon on my rotary cup requiring surgery and 5-6 months of physical therapy, my husband and I walked out of the orthopedic surgeon’s office and got in the car. I turned my head towards the window to hide the tears welling up in my eyes. My phone rang. Brenda Teele, my dear friend, called to check on my status and I bawled. Brenda used humor to calm me down—“Where is it in scripture that Pat Noble would never have surgery?” My other dear friend and accountability partner, Sylvia Stewart called and added her 2-cents as well. “Well, at least you’ve got one good arm?” she said. Encouragement from friends… hmmm.
To make matters worse, I had to take Tony to the airport because of a business trip he was taking. He drove quietly the entire way trying to assure me everything would be alright. After dropping him off, I drove away crying. I stopped at Walmart and sat in the parking lot and cried. I drove to Dunkin Doughnuts thinking that a donut would help ease the pain, but I cried all over it instead. My son Branden called…I cried. My sister Debbie called…I cried. Several other friends called…I cried. So, I decided to go for a walk around the lake to talk to Jesus. If I was going to cry all day, at least I could cry out to Him and ease my affliction. I praised Him for all the good…“Lord, this is my first surgery, thank you that the tear can be repaired. I can heal. Even in my fear, I trust you with this Jesus… so why am I crying so uncontrollably? What are you trying to teach me through this?”
As I walked, more tears strolled down my cheeks. Finally, I headed home.
Brenda called again, so I cried again. She felt that the crying had little to do with the surgery, but something much deeper was causing all the emotional distress. She suggested I ask the Lord before I went to bed to reveal it to me. So I did.
I woke up with the word “loss” on my mind. Lying in bed, I asked the Lord during my morning prayer time for the meaning. I got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and walked out of my bedroom to the hallway leading to the front door to turn off the alarm. I passed the living room and saw the cards on the glass table and tears flooded my eyes.
I ran over to grab the homegoing program of my husband’s mother, whom I called mom and cried endlessly. Mom passed on December 20th in South Carolina. In the midst of flying home and preparing for her homegoing on Christmas Eve, and flying back out that evening to get back to Dallas by Christmas, I realized I missed fully grieving her passing. In addition to Mom’s death, our First Lady, Sister Evans went home to the Lord the following week. I cried even harder. The Holy Spirit revealed two other recent losses. The loss of jogging due to my shoulder injury and the loss of my purpose—the loss of my calling to write and produce plays and I wrestled with quitting the CUTE ministry. Brenda’s suggestion proved right. The crying stemmed from so much loss in so little time.
The Holy Spirit then spoke Philippians 1:21 to me: “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Paul spoke these words at a time when he faced various afflictions and struggled with living or dying. Paul concluded that if he lived on in the flesh, it meant fruitful labor for him as he served Christ. If he died, it would be much better because his death leads to gain… departure into the loving arms of the living Savior!
Every loss involves pain and every gain involves a loss of some kind. I realized that the physical death of both Mom and Sister Evans resulted in their gain into Heaven with Jesus. The loss of my jogging and purpose resulted in me crying out and drawing nearer to the Lord…a spiritual gain in my Christian walk.
During this Easter, seriously consider Christ’s death on the cross. If Jesus disobeyed the Father and refused Calvary…no gain. If He did not hang on the cross with our sins nailed to His body…no gain. If He did not suffer, bleed and die a sinner’s death….no gain. No gain because there would be no resurrection. No resurrection… no access to the Father and eternal life for you and me...total loss for the world.
But Jesus did endure the pain…loss followed…then gain. The Father’s loss when He broke fellowship with His only begotten Son until the completion of the atonement of our sin. Jesus’ loss of His divinity as He laid it down just for us. His death…our gain!
See, something must die in order to experience gain. A tiny seed dies in the ground before birthing new life as a huge towering tree. Letting go of old ways helps us to experience something new. Sometimes we must die to our selfish desires to gain more of Christ.
This trial reminded me of two things. First, we will lose people and things in our lives, but the gain always supersedes the loss. The gain is Christ…either drawing closer to Him or gaining access to the Father. Second, life is supposed to be difficult. The difficulties enable us to draw closer to Christ. He emphasized the fact that earth is not heaven and God’s ultimate goal for us focuses not on our comfort, but on our growth and character development. Handling loss, whatever type it is, reveals how we handle His sovereignty.
I don’t know about you, but I’m so thankful Jesus went to the cross and died. Let this Easter remind you that He handled the biggest loss to give us the biggest gain. His death brought eternal life for all who accept Him. I can personally say…. with His death…I gain!
Why? Simply…
