This year represents a very challenging season for my health. In March, I underwent my first surgery to repair a torn tendon on my rotator cuff due to a fall while jogging. The surgery went well; the initial recovery proved rough. Then, four months into physical therapy, my shoulder experienced painful swelling, my baby (and only) brother struggled with loss of kidney function as a complication of diabetics, and I experienced a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack) or mild stroke. I lost verbal skills on the phone talking with my sister in South Carolina over my brother’s situation. Five days later he went home to be with the Lord.

Since I don’t fit the profile of a likely candidate for a stroke, I endured batteries of tests to pinpoint the source of the TIA. EKGs, Carotid Doppler Test, MRIs of my brain and head, an Echocardiogram, and finally a TEE procedure. The TEE revealed shocking news… an Atrial Septal Defect (ASD)… a hole in my heart. And not just any hole, but a sizeable one needing attention.

As my cardiologist unveiled the unexpected news, tears welled up in my eyes as he tried to soothe my disbelief and fears. I heard very little of the conversation as he drew on the white board explaining my condition and the options available. Lying flat on the gurney, still groggy from the sedation, my mind amplified the words “a hole in my heart.” I went home that evening and cried some more. But I also thanked the Lord for how He kept me all these years with this defect and still used me to minister to His people for His glory!

A week later after gaining composure, researching my condition, and engaging in a more in-depth conversation with my cardiologist, I discovered that everyone is born with a hole in their heart, but it usually closes on its own within a few months after birth. Mine remained open. The mild stroke actually served as a “warning” of future danger.

My cardiologist and I discussed three options to prevent future strokes:

Option 1: Blood thinner medications which involve constant monitoring and adjustments to get the correct dosage to prevent clots and avoid bleed outs
Option 2: A non-surgical transcatheter closure called Amplatzer Atrial Septal Occluder where they use device implementation to clamp the hole.
Option 3: Open-heart surgery.

After much prayer and the recommendation from my cardiologist based on various factors, the Lord led me to choose option 2. My cardiologist informed me that he would not be the surgeon; he wanted a colleague with more expertise with this type of procedure.

I pondered the idea of having lived all these years without the knowledge of a physical hole in my heart. I wondered if a pre-occupation with my defect would have prevented me from years of jogging, writing, directing, and producing skits and major productions, working with youth or other activities and ministry events. If I knew the hole existed, would it have consumed me to the point where I might not fulfill the purposes God laid out for me? Yet, He chose in His infinite wisdom to reveal now what He already knew from my birth. He gave me a warning, now I must heed the warning and take action to fix it.

As I contemplated my physical hole, I thought about all the emotional holes in my heart I’ve experienced over the years. Relationship holes, disappointment holes, mistake holes, bitterness holes, and other hurtful holes. Holes that needed repair, yet required different treatment options. Some needed only minor adjustments in my attitude while others needed a procedure to clamp the hole to keep it from further damage to my body. I’ve also needed outright heart surgery to repair some deep holes of emotional hurt.

The beauty lies in the fact that you and I don’t need a surgeon for our emotional holes. Jesus can fix any defect in our hearts whether small or large and He can perform any option needed. He remains the chief physician and can patch our holes, so we can continue to move forward no matter the circumstance. Ezekiel 36:26 says, “… I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you, and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”

The broken relationships may not get mended, but the hole in your heart can. The mistakes and disappointments in yourself or others may result in consequences, but the hole in your heart still can be fixed. The bitterness or other emotional holes can get repaired if you allow Jesus to fill them with His love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy. Whatever repair is needed, He can fix it. Yes, some holes may even require major open-heart surgery, but the results will be well worth it.

God gives us warnings of the holes in our hearts. Don’t neglect the warning signs when He reveals them. Heed the warnings and take action or risk facing lifelong consequences. Whether physical or emotional, pray for His healing hand to mend the holes for your good and His glory.

I don’t know about you, but I am grateful for the warning. And the timing of His warning is perfect. He covered me all these years with the defect, so I am confident that He will cover me through my heart repair. And whatever emotional holes I experience in the future, He still remains the greatest surgeon, so I commit my heart into His hands. Why? Simply…

Warning…A Hole in My Heart