Crying Out to Jesus
The stage play “COVERED…” launched successfully on September 1st at the Scott Theatre. I felt such joy and relief all at the same moment upon hearing the applause of the audience after the first show. I ran into the arms of one of the stage managers and cried… I cried tears of joy. The second show resulted in the same effect.
My tears of joy centered more on His faithfulness to me than the applause of the audience. You see, the Monday before the launch date, I cried. Not once, not twice, not three times, but pretty much all day. I woke up crying not knowing why I was crying. And I got hit with so many negative things that kept me crying all day.
The day before…
Sunday morning, our associate Pastor Bobby Gibson preached on the subject of faith using the verse Mark 11:24. “Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they shall be granted you.” He emphasized the fact that we know God is able but do we believe that He will do what we ask in prayer. Ironically, I posted a similar verse from Matthew 21:22 four months earlier on my calendar on a yellow sticky note to remind me of His promise as I journeyed through the production of the play. It read, “And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive.” I mentioned this to a friend sitting next to me, but I failed to make any connection to my situation.
Back to Monday morning…
I woke up with tears in my eyes Monday morning, not really knowing why, while lying in bed and talking with the Lord. Ticket sales trickled in slowly, more funds going out than coming in, and challenges loomed ahead. Nothing new I reasoned, except we were just a few days from launch. I got up and prepared for the day.
I went for my morning run and I cried. I showered and I cried. I got dressed and I cried. During my bible study time, I cried. I looked at that yellow sticky note with my verse on it and I cried. Challenges related to the play started to hit me. I cried. I couldn’t talk to anyone because I cried. I thought taking a swim might help. I swam in the pool water and in a pool of my tears. I decided to take a walk around the lake. I cried. I thought I needed my dose of iced coffee, so I went to Dunkin Doughnuts and I cried on the way, and sat in my car with the coffee and cried some more. I went home and sat at my desk looking at the sticky note. Finally, I made the connection.
I realized every time I cried, I would cry out to Jesus. “Lord, I am stepping out on faith for you and nothing seems to be going right. Not enough ticket sales, things thrown at me left and right…one problem after another. What am I doing wrong? You told me to ask Lord and I did, but it’s not happening?”
The Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Do you really believe?”
I wept because I finally understood why I cried all day. He wanted me to cry out to Him and to really understand the scripture I posted. I asked Him for certain things pertaining to the play, but the Holy Spirit convicted me of not really believing that I would actually receive them. Just posting the scripture meant nothing… that’s why the Bible says to be “doers of the word and not just merely readers of it.” What a humbling experience.
I immediately fell to my knees and asked for forgiveness of my unbelief. Then, like Elijah, I started praying specifically. One of the things I asked for… a minimum of four hundred people in attendance. I got up renewed. The next day and for the remainder of the week not one tear was shed until after the end of the first show. The attendance count… over four hundred! The director at the theater told us that they usually only get about fifty people in attendance for the first run of a show from a new artist. More tears… tears of joy reminding me of His faithfulness when I truly believe!
I don’t know about you, but I am thankful that Jesus takes us through situations that cause us to shed tears and cry. As long as we cry out to Him, we will see Him work for our good and His glory. He took me to a deeper level of trust and belief in Him, and I truly believe that whatever He assigns me to do, He will provide all I ask for and need. Why? Simply…
