Thank You Mama
In Loving Memory of my mother, Sarah Esther Jacobs Jackson
On Sunday, February, 8th, I made the usual call to my mother in Columbia, S.C. to chat. My sister, Debbie answered the phone.
“Hey, Sis…how’s it going…I called to speak to Mama.”
“Pat, Mama is still feeling a little weak and not up to talking. Even though she is not in any pain, I am going to take her to the doctor tomorrow to get her checked out.”
“I agree. I talked to her Thursday when she said she felt weak, and wanted her to get checked up, but she refused…. I will call back tomorrow to check on her.”
We chatted for a bit, then hung up. Early Monday evening, I received a call from Debbie.
“Pat. I went to check on Mama this morning and she was still in bed. She said she still felt a bit weak. I went to straighten her sheets and she was sweating profusely. I immediately called 911. I am sitting outside the hospital… they won’t let me in due to COVID restrictions… they are running all kinds of tests on her, and told me to just wait in the car.”
We prayed… we cried… we prayed some more. Later that evening, the doctor informed us of the situation. Mama experienced a tumor embolism, an obstruction in her blood vessel. In addition, cancer from a leg injury years ago returned and invaded her lungs. He told us that it happened so quickly and nothing could be done. She never experienced pain. He prepared us to say our farewells.
”Oh God, please, I’m not ready for this. Oh God, please…”
As tears flooded my eyes and my heart ached with pain, my grand-niece used messenger through my phone to allow me to see my mama and talk to her. As she laid there with a ventilator, eyes closed and unaware of anything going on, I told her how much I loved her. I thanked her for being a great godly mother, and I assured her I would see her again. But Mama prepared for this day a long time ago. We knew she wanted to be with Jesus. She kept telling us she was ready. We just wanted her for a little while longer.
Listening to the cries of my sister, niece and grand-niece, I remembered our celebration of her 89th birthday on January, 19th. We all sang to Mama as she joined in. We laughed and clapped as she blew out the candles and wore her tiara. I’m thankful we spoke on Thursday because we both said “I love you”—not knowing they would be the last words we shared with each other.
We waited… into the wee hours of the night. Then the call came. Mama transitioned home to the Lord Tuesday morning, February 9th at 1:12 am. Tony and I prepared for the journey to South Carolina for her home-going celebration. Our son, Ryan, her grandson, agreed to deliver the message. Debbie and I gave a tribute to her and many asked to receive a copy of it. So, with love and gratitude to the Lord for giving us a faithful, godly, and loving mother, we present the tribute I delivered at her home-going celebration.
“Thank You Mama”
“When peace like a river, attended my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.”
This represented one of Mama’s favorite songs. And today, it is well with our souls, because it was well with hers. When asked to speak today as hard as it is, I am grateful to share a few things about this wonderful, beautiful, talented, amazing Proverbs 31 woman of God.
Now, if you see tears, know that they represent tears of sadness because she no longer lives here on this side of eternity, but also know they represent tears of great joy, because we know she lives with Jesus and we will see her again.
As Debbie and I reflected on what made mama special, and how we became the women we are today, we slowly turned the pages of our childhood memories. We reminisced about the lessons she taught us and the sacrifices she made for us. We delighted at the laughter and funny stories shared. We remembered the special things she said to us as children, teenagers, and young ladies. And as mothers and grandmothers now, we appreciate her wisdom more.
Mama possessed a gentle, kind spirit, and generous heart. Her imprint and influence on our lives shout volumes. She wore strength and dignity with a quiet confidence and love for the Lord. She showed gracious respect for her husband and sacrificial love for her children.
But sometimes that sacrificial love hurt, and her power did not always require her physical presence. We often found ourselves hit by a flying object such as a shoe, brush, or anything within her reach. As we tried to round the corner, the object followed, slapping us on the back of our heads and knocking us to the floor.
She didn’t enjoy cooking, yet she cooked like a culinary specialist. She loved baking and sharing her cakes and legendary famous biscuits. She sewed like a master seamstress. She also shared a passion for children and flowers.
I hope Mama really knew how blessed and proud we were to call her our mom. I hope she knew how much we appreciated her. If we could tell her thank you again, we would say:
Thank you, Mama, for choosing to give us life. Thank you for taking care of us through all our illnesses, scrapped elbows and knees, and wounded hearts. Thank you for godly discipline. Thank you for hot home-cooked meals… and the rare, occasional fast food too. Thank you for being our teacher, letting us make mistakes while refraining from saying “I told you so.” Thank you for helping us pick up the broken pieces from mistakes. Thank you for loving us no matter what.
Thank you for all the lessons you taught us. You taught us how to discipline our children, yet doing it in love. You taught us how to step up, speak our minds and give our opinions, while trying to resist being inappropriately harsh or brash. You showed us what enormous passion looked like. Your words and instructions did not fall on death ears but penetrated our hearts.
Proverbs 22:6 says: “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
This one verse resonated on my mind as I thought about the senseless and dumb things we did as teenagers. Mama would remind us of her responsibility as a mother in a unique way. She would use what I called one sentence sermons…you know, the one-liners that belted out of her mouth to let us know she just moved into the training mode.
Sometimes the one-liner turned into a short and to the point sermon. Other times it required us to sit in the pew and listen whether we wanted to hear it or not. The one sentence commandments escalated into aggravating, painful and nerve wrecking sermons, but when we became mothers, we found ourselves repeating them. We finally understood.
They depicted precious lifelong lessons and pearls of wisdom. She wanted us to experience more joy than pain as we grew and navigated through the roads of life. As we think back and reminisce over a few of them, we realized those tiny sermons represented teaching principles with biblical implications.
”Oh, I know you are sorry and won’t do it again.” Sermon on discipline…
”I don’t care what so and so’s mama lets her do. If you want to do that, go live in their house.” Sermon on choices…
”I brought you into this world and I’ll take you out.” Sermon on sovereignty…
”Do I look like a bank? Do you think money grows on trees?” Sermon on economics and working…
“If I were you, I would go to my room now and pray that you were not involved in that fight.” Sermon on faith…
”You forgot that I have eyes in the back of my head.” Sermon on omniscience…
”Because I’m your mother and I said so!” Sermon on authority and who’s in control…
”Where do you think you are going looking like that?” Sermon on modesty and decency…
”Your hard head is going to give you a soft behind.” Sermon on consequences…
”Just wait until your father gets home.” Sermon on delegation…
”Don’t get too grown for your britches.” Sermon on humility…
”I don’t care if all of your friends are doing it, you are not!” Sermon on nonconformity…
”You can leave when I say you can leave.” Sermon on patience…
”Have you lost your pure d mind?” Sermon on constructive thinking…
”I’m only going to ask you once…don’t make me repeat myself.” Sermon on counting and listening…
”This hurts me more than it hurts you.” Sermon on pain and love…
I could go on and recall more of those lessons, but they all had one goal in mind. Mama wanted us to be able to handle any problem or situation we faced in life with a biblical perspective. She trained us in the word of God so that the promise of God would be fulfilled. She dedicated us to Him, instructed us in His ways, and motivated us to do what the Lord required. She preached all of them in love and we hope our children can say the same about us. Because my mother kept the command to train, the promise of God was claimed. Through all the trials of life, we can adamantly state, we will not depart from His word.
Yes, it hurts to let her go, but God set her day even before her birth. We must remember who He is. No matter how bad things feel, God is still good. And He never asked us to understand His ways: He only asked us to trust Him. We feel blessed that God gave her to us as our mom. He gave us two godly parents who taught us to love the Lord.
Mama wanted to hear “well done”, and we believe she will. Jesus prayed to His Father before His betrayal in John 17:4. He said, “I glorified Thee on the earth having accomplished the work which Thou hast given Me to do…” Mama glorified the Father on earth having accomplished the work He gave her to do.
This represents true success—coming to the end of your life having fulfilled the will of God. When you and I can say this, we have lived life well… and like Paul, Mama can say, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.” So, we don’t say “goodbye” Mama, but “so long”… for we will see you again…
1 Corinthians 13:13 says, “But now abide faith, hope, love; these three: but the greatest of these is love.” Why? Because Mama doesn’t need faith and hope anymore. She dwells in the presence of our Savior and will abide in love forever!
I don’t know about you, but if the Lord gave you a godly, faithful and loving mother, thank Him and her. He blessed me with one and I will forever cherish His gift. Why? Simply…
